call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not...

my name is lois, i'm twenty one forever & i live in a wee village called cambusbarron, just outside stirling, scotland.

lush baths, sweet treats & living outwith my means.

i like tattoos & horror movies the best + halloween is my absolute favourite time of year.

i am vulgar & indecent 99.9% of the time & feel that i should of been raised as a male.

hopeless romantic underneath it all...
mammy, stop folding page corners! 😡

mammy, stop folding page corners! 😡

this was all i wanted anyway. fuck you dominos!

this was all i wanted anyway. fuck you dominos!

dominos driver pulled up & sat in front of our house, sat on his phone for five minutes, then drove away again… he came back again, 5/10 minutes later & i asked what had happened. he had given our ice cream to someone else & had to go back to get it… when we opened everything up, they had given me the wrong pizza. no olives, no crispy onions & no herbs. we gave them a phone, because they charge £1.20 per extra topping & everything was double, so we weren’t very happy paying for nothing! they said they’d send out another pizza out, fair enough. waited another half an hour or so & when the delivery driver came, he asked if i wanted to check it. i clearly said ‘yes, hold on a minute’, went to the kitchen to check the pizza & they had sent the exact same thing they had in the first place. went i went back to tell the driver, he had driven away! when we phoned up again, we were told that they didn’t do olives anymore. why are you still able to order them on the website, why weren’t we told that when we placed & paid for our order & why weren’t we told that when we phoned to complain in the first instance?! gah! what a load of hassle over nothing. dinnae even like dominos. #dominos #pizza #whatkindofpizzacompanydoesntdoolives?!

dominos driver pulled up & sat in front of our house, sat on his phone for five minutes, then drove away again… he came back again, 5/10 minutes later & i asked what had happened. he had given our ice cream to someone else & had to go back to get it… when we opened everything up, they had given me the wrong pizza. no olives, no crispy onions & no herbs. we gave them a phone, because they charge £1.20 per extra topping & everything was double, so we weren’t very happy paying for nothing! they said they’d send out another pizza out, fair enough. waited another half an hour or so & when the delivery driver came, he asked if i wanted to check it. i clearly said ‘yes, hold on a minute’, went to the kitchen to check the pizza & they had sent the exact same thing they had in the first place. went i went back to tell the driver, he had driven away! when we phoned up again, we were told that they didn’t do olives anymore. why are you still able to order them on the website, why weren’t we told that when we placed & paid for our order & why weren’t we told that when we phoned to complain in the first instance?! gah! what a load of hassle over nothing. dinnae even like dominos. #dominos #pizza #whatkindofpizzacompanydoesntdoolives?!

& so it continues… #cujo #stephenking

& so it continues… #cujo #stephenking

i sit & melt chocolate between my thighs. #fatgirlproblems

i sit & melt chocolate between my thighs. #fatgirlproblems

olive ‘salad’. some of these bad boys are stuffed with entire garlic cloves. heaven.

olive ‘salad’. some of these bad boys are stuffed with entire garlic cloves. heaven.

currently wasting my nights watching stephen king films, online shopping & worrying about EVERYTHING.

currently wasting my nights watching stephen king films, online shopping & worrying about EVERYTHING.

what if ice cream vans didn’t exist?

what if ice cream vans didn’t exist?